LJX: Heart It Races

So far I've been standing still in time, mind anchored firmly to the present. But if this is fiction, who's to say I need to do that? The powerful thing about delusions is that they aren't limited by the numerous constraints of reality.

Fast forward and it's February 14th. Valentines Day. Half my life I dreamed about what it'd be like to have the perfect romantic evening; The other half, I cursed the day and the greeting card companies that invented it. Though you have no reason to trust me by now, I can say that I've spent exactly two Valentines days in the company of another, and that somehow I managed to have a lackluster time throughout both of them.

It wasn't the people, but the predicament that ruined the day. One year, I ended up at American Steakhouse, the family restaurant where you can get steak, shrimp, and food poisoning all for $9.99. The other year, I ended up in an empty pizza place. Actually... now that I think about it, that one wasn't so bad after all, if far from memorable.

But today, February 14th, 2008 is different. It's easier for it to be different, because I actually have my own place now, and I'm a whole lot more independent than when I was younger and still just a student. I can actually afford the expensive dinner and... well... wait, let's re-write that part. Cliché romance isn't romance at all, and it makes my stomach turn a bit when the most creative guys I know somehow become retarded and think that a greeting card, some chocolates, roses and a fancy French or Italian dinner is somehow impressive. I don't know, I'm sure some girls go for that, but it's just not my style.

Now look what I've done, I've started to introduce the chain of events without introducing the actors. How silly of me. This meta-fiction stuff, it's getting me confused, so bear with me.

So it turns out, in this reality at least, the girl in my building that I've been crushing on actually does exist. Through all the layers of obfuscation, I think you'll be calling me the boy who cried wolf, but she is real and quite stunning. I couldn't believe she'd be willing to spend her Valentines Day with me, even if her mind was only set on friendship.

I guess I should describe her, but to do that, I should give her a name. For comedic effect, let's call her Bertha. I've always wondered what it'd be like to have a beautiful girlfriend named Bertha, so that'll keep me laughing while I write this.

Bertha is Chinese. She's smart, she's interesting, and I can recall every detail of her face when I imagine her, which is something I am typically *terrible* at. I would say she was beautiful, and may go to fisticuffs with someone who said she wasn't. Or at least, have a really surly thumb wrestling match, which I would flat out win through mad passion.

Hahaha.. Bertha. Still funny.

Anyway, perhaps the most incredible thing Bertha offers me is how accepting she is of my insanely complicated personality. Every time we talk, I feel like she's the counterweight on a seesaw that typically is anything from stable. Through all my meditation, I've only ever found acceptance and comfort within my chaotic mind, not inner tranquility. The fact that she lets me see a glimpse of serenity means the world to me, and that's why I need to write an especially good Valentines day to show my appreciation.

She shows up around 8pm, after a pretty long day at work. I told her I'd cook dinner for her and that we could just hang out, maybe watch a movie. As soon as she shows up, she seems all excited, and I can't figure out why. She pulls out a sheet of notebook paper and tells me that it's a game record from earlier in the week. Not too long ago, I got her into Go, so that didn't surprise me much. I told her I'd look at it after we ate.



She wasn't happy with that, so I gave in and took a look. At only 10 moves, I knew she was full of it, but it had me curious:

1. q14
2. d14
   
   6-4 point? Weird!
   
   
3. d12
4. q12
   
   Bertha... what the hell is this? If it weren't for the symmetry, one of these players would have lost already...
   
   
5. k3
6. k13
   
   Hmm... this is starting to look like "Get Strong at Subtle Invasions"
   
   
7. f15
8. o15
   
   Umm... the players mutually wanted to create an M ?
   
   Amazingly, I still don't see the significance of the two moves to come
   
   
9. p9
10. e9
    
    Ooooooooh.
    

I blush, and then I don't know what to say. This had to be the nerdiest, but cutest thing anyone has ever done for me:


I don't even think about it, I just hug her. And I realize that's the first time we've ever actually touched each other, not counting the one silly ballroom dancing class we took together. And though it feels like the right thing to do at the time, I suddenly find myself a bit embarrassed.

I look up, she's not weirded out, and that's a relief. "You took all 10 moves to figure that out? Maybe you're not so smart after all.."

We share a laugh and some eye contact that lingers a little longer than normal, and then I grab a big knife and slam it into the squash that has been sitting on my table, proving my ADD.

"I'm hungry. Let's cook."

TO BE CONTINUED.