Things don't have to hurt

Sometimes, you reach for something you can't quite grasp. Other times, you grab a hold of it for a moment, and then it slips away. So much pain and suffering can be seen in moments like these.

The worst feeling of all is having something you've wanted for so long swing into reach, only to disappear as quickly as it arrived. But it's not the moment that causes this to happen, it's the white knuckled fists still trying to hang on to a bird that has already taken flight.

So, we try to be smart. We tell ourselves that we just won't run after the things we know we can't hold in our hands. We tell ourselves to limit our desires to that which is attainable, and when we do this, we're happy. But the heart and mind are not obedient. It seems like the stronger a person is at rationalizing, the more they struggle with accepting irrational truths.

Sometimes, the mad dash to catch a falling star is part of life, even if we know it's not where we should be. Sometimes, the only way to figure out what is right, is to do something wrong. The world unfolds in front of us, showing us the way, we only need to look and see what it is telling us.

The thing is, even if we slip up, even if we defy our best intentions to maintain control and discipline over ourselves, it's never too late to loosen the ties which bind us. The pain is mostly, not due to reaching for that shooting star, but through assuming that holding that star was really meant to be.

It is up to us to choose how we perceive things. We can say that we are so unfortunate because we never succeeded at holding a star in our hands, or we can say we were so lucky to get the chance to touch one.

In my life, I bounce back and forth, sometimes I follow the former path, sometimes the latter. However, I know that when my mind is clear, the path of gentle detachment makes me feel at ease.

This is not about being disconnected with the world, but more about feeling at ease with the world as it is. How do we go from complexity to simplicity in life? Not by yelling "Be Simple" at the world in a futile battle cry. Instead, we must allow ourselves to experience complex situations, make our mistakes, and do our misdeeds that we know aren't going to make life easier. Then, when we have come to accept that, we simply exhale them. Let them drop out from under us, and turn back to the world with a mind of equanimity and joy.

How beautiful would life be if we could turn moments of attachment and doubt into feelings of gentle curiosity and acceptance? How wonderful would it be to dive into the waterfall of life, and not try so hard to find a log to grab hold of and pull ourselves out?

With every moment, we are given the opportunity to turn a negative into a positive. It is my hope that I will be able to do this more and more often, for myself and those that I love.

This is why a four hour goodbye doesn't need to be so sad. It teaches us a valuable lesson. A falling star sometimes isn't meant to be caught, but that makes the moment no less beautiful.